"Marriage is a Private Affair" by Chinua Achebe is a short story that tells the struggles between tradition and modern times. Nnaemeka moved to a modern city in Nigeria and met a woman named Nene. Nnaemaka's father, Okeke, grew up in a very traditional village and refuses to accept his son's chosen bride-to-be. In Okeke's village, the parents are to choose the children's spouses. Due to Nnaemeka's choice, Okeke does not speak to his son for eight years, and misses out on many important events. This post is going to analyze the theme, setting, plot, point of view, characterization, irony, and symbolism.
Theme
There are many themes in this short story, but the one that stands out is that family is more important than tradition. Okeke grew up and lived in the rural Ibo village all his life. He is a strict christian and follows his village's traditional values. He is so attuned in the old ways that he cannot see past them for his son. Nnaemeka moved to Lagos (a modern city in Nigeria) and was exposed to modern thoughts about marriage and did not obey the Ibo village values.
The story starts with Nene asking if Nnaemeka has written to dad about them being engaged. Nnaemeka is reluctant to send a letter with that kind of news, he would rather tell his father in person. He also did not want to send a letter because his father already sent a letter saying he found the perfect wife for him. Nnaemeka instead went to his father's home in the village and told him that he does not want to marry the girl his father picked. He then told Okeke that he is engaged to Nene, a non-Ibo woman.
His father became enraged, sent his son away, and refused to eat that night. After calming down for a day, Okeke asked for his son to come back so they could talk. Okeke tried to persuade Nnaemeka to call it quits with Nene, but he refused. Okeke said he would never accept Nene and stopped talking to his son for eight years. He missed their wedding and the birth of his two grandsons. The grandsons were told they had a grandfather and they wanted to meet Okeke. No matter how hard he tried to not care about the two boys, he was finally seeing that they were more important that his traditional values.
Setting
The main setting is Okeke's home in the Ibo village in rural Nigeria. The time is maybe the 1940's or 1950's which is before the internet, hence the letter writing. There are no details on how the home looks, but is where most of the story takes place. The cultural context is that Nnaemeka is expected to obey his father and marry the girl his father picked. The mood throughout the story is tense. Okeke and Nnaekmeka disagreeing, Okeke acting like his son did not exist for eight years give proof on why the mood is tense.
Plot
The first minor conflict is that Nnaemeka wants to marry Nene, against his father's wishes. In his father's tribe, he was to choose his son's spouse, but Nnaemeka does not care for the tribe's traditions. Even after all the arguing, Nnaemeka still marries Nene, without his father's blessing.
The second minor conflict is that Nene is not an Ibo woman. The tribe's tradition also says that the spouse has to be from the tribe or they won't be accepted or respected. She is a school teacher, and in the bible that Okeke worships says that women should not be able to teach.
The third conflict is that Okeke totally rejects Nnaekmeka and Nene getting married. He is so stuck in the old ways of thinking that he cannot see past it. Okeke sends his son away again but does not ask him to come back. To get over his shock, he starts talking with the other tribes men, who think just like he does. They also cannot believe what they are hearing, one even suggested Okeke to call a native doctor to check Nnaemeka to see if he was sick in the head.
All the minor conflicts help fuel the rising action, which is the eight long years that Okeke does not speak to his son. Nene and Nnaemeka were married and were very happy being together, the tribe's people caught wind of their relationship, but Okeke did not. Whenever he heard his son's name, he became angry, so the tribe's people gave up on trying to tell him.
The major conflict is tradition. Okeke grew up and lived in his village his whole life, probably never took one step out of it. The values and traditions are ingrained in his mind, and he can't get over them for his own flesh and blood. He let them overtake his love for Nnaemeka and his happiness.
The climax is when Okeke received a letter from Nene. Her and Nnaemeka had two sons, and the boys wanted to meet their grandfather. Nene said she would stay where she is, and she hoped that Okeke would would meet his grandsons.
The falling action is Okeke thinking about his grandsons. He tired to fight the feelings he was starting to feel about them, but he couldn't fight it. The weather didn't help him either. After some time without any rain, it started pouring. Rainy days make people feel gloomy or at ease, but also helps people think. The resolution of the story is that Okeke regretted missing those eight years, all the memories and happiness he could've felt. He felt scared that he might die before making it up to all of them.
Point of View
The point of view in this story is third person omniscient. The story is told from all the characters, except the grandsons. We know what Nene, Naemeka, and Okeke's thoughts and feelings. We know that Nnaemeka was sad from Okeke's rejection even though he had no dialog for it, and we read Okeke's internal battle with his feelings for his grandsons and his values. This is a great point of view, we learn all the character's feelings and thoughts, and the struggle they are going through.
Characterization
Nnaemeka is a round character. He goes against his father to make his own life decisions. He is like a real person trying to figure out life. Though a round character, he is static. He made his decision to marry Nene and would not budge from it.
Nene is also a round character. She wanted to bring Okeke into the family even though Nnaemeka warned her of how he would be to the news. Like Nnaemeka, she is static also. She gave up on trying to bring Okeke into the family and went on living her life.
Okeke is a round character. Though a strict believer in the bible and the traditions, he still acted like a real person, almost like a spoiled child not getting his way. At the end of the story, he had an epiphany, which made him a evolving character. He learns that his family should had been more important that the traditions, and he had to make it up to his family that he had hurt all those years.
The author uses indirect characterization to show how all the characters treat and think of each other. They also describe the actions of the characters, and the thoughts of why they chose to act in that way. This characterization has shown the struggles between the characters and how they think.
Irony
The title "Marriage is a Private Affair" is an example of verbal irony. Their marriage isn't private at all. The people in Lagos talk about how happy Nene and Nnaemeka are, and the gossip travels to Okeke's village. The men in the Ibo village talk about how Okeke should send for a native doctor to check on Nnaemeka. The marriage is the talk of Lagos and the Ibo village.
An example of situational irony is when Okeke rejected Nene. Usually fathers are happy that their sons found someone special, but Okeke proved the readers wrong. He even went to disowning his son because he was so angry.
The example of dramatic irony is when Okeke gives in to his feelings for his grandsons. The readers know he gave in but Nene, Naemeka, and the grandsons do not know yet.
Symbol
The rain that came at the end of the story is the symbol. It represents change and washing and washing away. It had not rained that whole year, but it rained the day Okeke received the letter regarding the grandsons. His resentment towards his son's family was was washed away, just like the rain was washing the land. His life was dry and lifeless just like the land, but now the rain came and brought life back.
This story was a good read, I would give it a 8/10. I would have loved to read Okeke meeting the grandsons and apologizing to Nene and Nnaemeka. But the story did send a message to the readers, family is more important. The story was family oriented, happy and sad, and almost like real life family problems.
Someone who enjoys family drama will enjoy this story. But there are some who would not enjoy this story, the names are not common and maybe the problem in this story would hit a certain nerve wrong. Also, the locations of the story are not very descriptive, so the reader has to guess what they look life. Though there are a few weaknesses, this story was a very good read.
